Our Second Chapter by Dulcie Bercaw
Our second chapter... We are all looking for our next chapter but what are our expectations? Are they realistic? I see so many who want the perfect person. There is no such thing as the perfect person only the person perfect for us.
We will never find exactly what we had. Expecting that from someone new is unfair to them. You can't compare the next person to the person you lost. They aren't going to love you in exactly the same way as your late spouse did and you aren't going to love them the way you loved your late spouse.
We can create this vision in our head of “I want a Christian man”, “I want a man who is tall or short”, “heavy or thin”, “long hair or short hair”, etc... But in reality, it isn't the looks of the person that we see attracted to but the character of the person. It is how they talk not how they walk. It is how they treat others. Are they respectful?
I guess my point is don’t hold others to such high expectations. Don't create this perfect version of what you are looking for in your mind and skip over the person who may just be perfect for you. Look beyond a person's outward features and to who they are and how they will treat you. Don't expect it, accept it. If they are doting accept it. If they show you love in subtle ways accept it. If they aren't forward with their emotions accept it.
When looking at the next chapter don’t put your own spin on it and not accept what is being put before you. Yes by all means read all the books you want until you find one you can't put down but don't discount the book because of the cover or because the synopsis didn't sound good to you. You may be surprised at what you will find.
I agree with you. I look for the characteristics like honesty compassion kindness sense of humor slow to anger generosity and willingness to make the relationship a priority
Thanks for the story and this is something to think about and it is helpful information
Great entry as usual, Dulcie!
Don't forget. Your second chapter has the chance to be better than your first chapter. You won't find something exactly the same and you might not actually want that - you have to allow the possibility that you will find something even better. Or as good in different ways. But for even this to work, you have to do the work. You have to find them. This took several years for me, but it worked and I love it.